大學生英語有趣短文
1. 英語趣味小短文（帶翻譯）
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝說:"一秒鍾."最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鍾."
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
兩個獵人進森林裡打獵，其中一個獵人不慎跌倒，兩眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一個獵人趕緊拿出手機撥通緊急求助電話。接線員沉著地說：「第一步，要先確定你的朋友已經死亡。」於是，接線員在電話里聽到一聲槍響，然後聽到那獵人接著問：「第二步怎辦？」
Cat and Mice
Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.
" What's in your box?" asked the friend.
"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."
"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友，她拿著一個頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子。「盒子里裝的是什麼？」朋友問道。「一隻小貓，」布朗夫人回答說，「你知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠。」「可老鼠都是假想的呀。」朋友說。「小貓也是假想的。」布朗夫人小聲說道。
I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病醫師：你哪裡不舒服？
病人：我認為我是一隻雞。
精神病醫師：這種情況從什麼時候開始的？
病人：從我還是一隻蛋的時候開始。
我要表現得象位女士
I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
我要表現得象位女士
一天，遠東百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給太太買一件。可是，沒過多久，他發現自己已被瘋狂的女人沖得踉踉蹌蹌。
他竭力忍耐著。後來，他低下頭，揮動雙臂，擠過人群。
「你幹嘛？」有人尖聲叫道，「你難道不能表現得象位紳士嗎？」
「聽著，」他說，「我已經象紳士一樣表現了一個小時。從現在起，我要表現得象個女士。」
The Broom Seller and the Barber
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.
"Two pence," said the man.
"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."
The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.
"A penny." said the barber.
"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
賣掃帚的人和理發師
一個賣掃帚的人去一家理發店修面.理發師向他買了一把掃帚.當理發師給他修完面後,問了一下掃帚的價錢.
賣掃帚的人說:"兩便士"
"不,不"理發師說,"我只出一便士.如果你認為不夠的話,可以把掃帚拿回去."
賣掃帚的人取回了掃帚,隨後問修面要付多少錢.
賣掃帚的人說:"我只能給你半個便士,如果你認為不夠的話,你可以把鬍子再替我裝上."
Want a Day Off 想請一天假
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, " We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. " I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
一天，史密斯去見他的客戶部領導，「老闆」，斯密斯說，「我們家明天要大搞清潔，我老婆需要我回去幫忙清潔閣樓和車庫，搬搬挪挪什麼的。」「斯密斯啊，你也知道，我們現在人手已經不夠了」老闆說，「明天的假我是沒法給你批了」。「多謝老闆，」 Smith說，「我就知道跟著您干准沒錯」。
I Lost 我輸了
It was at a five o』clock tea． A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness．
「So good of you to come， Mr．Jones，and where is your brother？」
「You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it．」
「How nice！And so original， too！ And you won？」
「No，」 said the young man absently，「I lost．」
五點鍾，下午茶的時間，一個年輕人因為遲到向女主人致歉。
「您能來可真好，瓊斯先生，您的兄弟在哪兒呢？」
「您知道我們在辦公室里有非常忙，我們倆只能來一個，所以就擲幣來決定由誰來。」
「太有意思了！還那麼有獨創性！那您贏了？」
「不，」年輕人心不在焉地說，「我輸了。」
我很辛苦才找來的！
2. 有趣的英語小短文精選
閱讀作為四項基本技能之一，對高中生英語語言綜合能力的培養起到舉足輕重的作用，因此高中英語閱讀教學在英語語言學習中扮演著重要角色。我精心收集了有趣的英語小短文，供大家欣賞學習!
有趣的英語小短文篇1
Half or Five Tenths?
Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?
Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.
Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.
Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.
半個還是十分之五
老師：你願意要半個柑橘，還是十分之五個柑橘?
傑拉得：我寧可要半個。
老師：仔細想想，說出理由來。
傑拉得：因為你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就損失太多了。
有趣的英語小短文篇2
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.
維爾和比爾在爭吵，誰的爸爸是更強壯的一個。
Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who g the hole for it."
維爾說：“你知道太平洋嗎?那個坑是我爸爸挖的。”
Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"
比爾不屑地說：“那沒什麼。你知道死海嗎? 那是我爸爸打死的。”
有趣的英語小短文篇3
Improvement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
進步
一位學生對另一位說：“你的 英語 最近學的怎麼樣?”
“很好，我過去不懂英國人說話，可現在是英國人不懂我的話了。”
有趣的英語小短文篇4
An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?'
'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.'
The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.'
'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.'
'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.'
一位耳聾並且總是嫌東西太貴的老太太走進一家商店。 她問店員：“這東西要多少錢?”
“七美元，太太，這是很便宜的。”
老太太說：“太貴了，十四美元差不多。”
店員忙說：“我沒說十七美元，是七美元。”
“還是太貴，”老太太說：“五美元，我就買啦。”
3. 大學英語故事短文欣賞
英語閱讀是學生在英語學習過程中最常見的組成部分。學生的閱讀程度直接關繫到學生英語能力的提高。我整理了大學英語故事短文，歡迎閱讀!
大學英語故事短文篇一
正面的偶像 The Positive Idol
With the development of Internet, people can get the instant news and many people keep their eyes on the hot news, which makes other people get famous easily. As the saying that good news will not be spread while the bad news will, people get famous by presenting the immoral acts and the audience promotes it. We need the positive idols.
隨著互聯網的發展,人們可以獲得即時新聞和很多人隨時在關注著熱點新聞,這讓別人很容易出名。俗話說好事不出門壞事傳千里,一些人通過呈現不道德行為來獲得知名度,觀眾也促使了這樣的事情發生。我們需要正面的偶像。
Looking back on the hot figures these years, we can find that Internet provides people a large stage to get fame, there is no doubt that the fastest way to catch people’s attention is to attact others by rude words. The audience really loves to see it, they enjoy seeing people acting impolitely. People ignore appreciating the truth and beauty, they are the supporters of vulgar culture.
回首這些年來炙手可熱的名人,我們可以發現,互聯網為人們提供一個大舞台來獲得名聲,毫無疑問,最快抓住人們的注意力的方式就是用粗魯的言語去攻擊別人。觀眾非常喜歡看到這樣的情況,他們喜歡看到人們粗魯的行為。人們忽視了欣賞美和真理,他們是低俗文化的支持者。
As our society is in the stage of transition, the new value has not been formed, so people are lost in it. They chase after the vulgar culture just to show the unsatisfaction of the society. Chasing idol is everybody’s right, but a idol should stand for the postive sides, or there is meaningless to do it.
由於我們社會處於過渡階段,尚未形成新的價值觀,所以人們自我迷失。他們追逐低俗文化來表現出對社會的不滿。追逐偶像是每個人的權利,但是一個偶像應代表積極的方面,不然追星沒有意義。
大學英語故事短文篇二
終身學習 Life-long Learning
Chairman Mao once said one is never too old to learn, his words have inspired so many people to study all the time. Life-long learning is very necessary today, many teachers have kept studying for they need to refresh their knowledge. For me, I also like to keep life-long learning, the reasons are in the following.
毛主席曾經說過活到老，學到老，他的這些話鼓勵了很多人堅持學習。終身學習在今天是很必要的，很多教師就堅持學習，因為他們需要更新知識。對於我來說，我也喜歡保持終身學習，理由如下。
On the one hand, the society develops so fast, I don’t want to be kicked out, so I need to keep studying and make myself keep pace with the time. Like the old people, they don’t know how to use computer, some of them learn the computer and some refuse to learn. The result is that the one who doesn’t use computer can’t keep pace with the time.
一方面，社會發展很快，我不想要被淘汰，因此我需要保持學習，讓自己與時俱進。比如老人家，他們不知道如何使用電腦，一些老人家學會了電腦，一些拒絕去學。結果就是不用電腦的人無法與時俱進。
On the other hand, life-long learning helps me have the passion on life. I am always curious about the new things, so I will want to know them more. If I stop learning, I will stop thinking and feel myself like waiting to die, how terrible it is.
另一方面，終身學習能讓我對生活有激情。我總是對新事物充滿好奇，所以我想要了解更多。如果我停止學習，就會停下來思考，感覺自己就像在等死，多麼可怕啊。
Life-long learning is necessary for everyone, it is the only way to make us keep pace with the time.
終身學習對每個人來說都是必須得，這也是讓我們保持與時俱進的唯一方法。
大學英語故事短文篇三
維多利亞的成功人生 Victoria’s Successful Life
Everybody knows David Beckham who is a famous football player and his wife is also well famous. Victoria Beckham was from a sing team called Spice Girls, she dropped out of the team many years ago and focused on her fashion career. She not only has a happy family, but also owns the successful career.
大家都知道貝克漢姆，一個著名的足球運動員，他的妻子也很有名。維多利亞貝克漢姆來自一個叫“辣妹”的歌唱組合，她很多年前就退出了組合，專注於她的時尚事業。她不僅擁有一個幸福的家庭，也擁有成功的事業。
Victoria has a big family. She has three boys and a girl. The three boys are as handsome as his father and the daughter is as beautiful as her. The big family catches the media’s attention, every time they go out for the activity, the media will shot many photos. Their news makes the world crazy about them.
維多利亞有一個大的家庭。她有三個兒子和一個女兒。三個男孩如他們父親般英俊，女孩如她般美麗。這個大家庭吸引了媒體的注意，每當他們外出活動，媒體就會拍很多照片。有關他們的新聞讓世界為之瘋狂。
Victoria also makes her fashion career so successful. Before she went to the fashion circle, no one would think about how she was good at it. She sets up her fashion branch and the celebrities like her design. Now her branch is welcomed by the world, she has proven herself.
維多利亞經營著成功的時尚事業。在她進入時尚圈之前，沒有人會想到她是如此的擅長。她建立了自己的時尚品牌，名人們也喜歡她的設計。如今她的品牌受到了全世界的歡迎，她已經證明了自己。
As a mother and official lady, Victoria manages the family and the career so well. She sets the good example for the women.
作為一名母親和職業女性，維多利亞把家庭和事業都經營得很好。她為女性做出了好榜樣。
4. 有趣的英語短文有翻譯
閱讀幫助人們更多的了解世界。在英語學習中,閱讀是人們獲取英語知識、提高英語水平的有效途徑。我精心收集了有趣的英語短文有翻譯，供大家欣賞學習!
有趣的英語短文有翻譯篇1
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
兩個蘇格蘭修女剛剛坐船來到美國，其中一個修女對另外一個說，“我聽說這個國家的人們是吃狗肉的。”
"Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
“真奇怪”，她的同伴回答道，“不過如果我們也生活在美國，我們可能會做一樣的事情啊。”
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it.
這位年長修女認真地點了點頭，指向了一個熱狗攤，她們倆一同走了過去。
"Two dogs, please," said one.
“兩只狗，謝謝。”一位說。
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs.'
攤販主很開心，他把兩個熱狗都包了起來。兩位修女飛快地到一個長凳上坐下，打開了她們的“狗”。
The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
年長的修女先打開了她的，然後，仔細地凝視了一會，向另外一位修女靠了過去，小心地耳語道“你拿到哪個部分了?”
有趣的英語短文有翻譯篇2
A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.
一個人帶著他的狗去了酒吧，他徑直走向吧台，要了一杯酒。
The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."
招待說：“你不能帶狗進來!”這個人毫不猶豫地說，“這是我的導盲犬”
"Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
“天吶，”招待說，“抱歉了，第一杯算我的。”這個人喝了他的酒，去門邊的桌子那坐下了。
Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog."
另外一個人帶著一隻吉娃娃走進酒吧。第一個人看見了他，把他攔下，說“你不能把狗帶進來，除非你跟他們說這是一隻導盲犬。”
The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
第二個人謝過了第一個人，走向吧台。他要一杯飲料。招待說：“嗨，你不能把那隻狗帶進來!”
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."
第二個人回答道“這是我的導盲犬。”招待說，“不，我不這么認為。從來沒有吉娃娃做導盲犬的。”
The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
這個人停頓了一會，回答道“什麼?!他們給了我一隻吉娃娃?!”
有趣的英語短文有翻譯篇3
A blond decides to go ice fishing one day. She takes her stool and her fishing pole onto the ice, and cuts a big hole. Then a voice says:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
一個金發外國人決定要去冰上釣魚。她拿上她的工具和釣魚竿去了冰上，並鑿出了一個大洞。然後聽見一個聲音說：
"冰～下～面～沒～有～魚!"
Perplexed, the blond moves her stool 100 feet, sits down again and goes to work cutting another hole. Again, the voice said:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
這個外國人很疑惑，把她的工具挪動了100尺，再次坐下來，准備再鑿一個洞的時候。再一次地，有個聲音說：
"冰～下～面～沒～有～魚!"
Clearly flustered, she moves the stool to one last spot, sits down, and picks up her auger. Again, the voice boomed:
"FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
姑娘有點慌了，她將工具挪到最後這個點上，坐下來，拿起了她的螺絲鑽。再一次地，聲音響起：
“最～後～說～一～次!冰～下～面～沒～有～魚!”
Finally, she can't take it. She cries out, "God, is that you?"
她終於承受不住了，叫了出來，“是你嗎?神?”
"NO, I'M THE OWNER OF THIS HOCKEY RINK"
“不，我是這個曲棍球冰場的主人。”
5. 急需一篇英文短篇故事 要有意思 有內涵 大學生用的。不要太幼稚 閱讀時間7分鍾左右
你好！我這里有很棒的一篇短文，富有哲理。
Nails
Has a bad temper of the boy, his father gave him a bag of nails. And told him that whenever he lost his temper when a nail on the nail in the backyard on the fence. The first day, the boy has nailed 37 nails. Slowly, under the nail every day to rece the quantity of nails, he found that control of their temper than those under the nail nails easy. Thus, there is one day, the boy never lost patience, temper chaos. His father told him the matter. The father said, and now whenever he can begin to control their own temper when a nail on the pull-out. One day later, the last boy's father told him, he finally put all the nails to pull out come.
His father shook his hand, came to the backyard, said: "You're doing a good job and my child, but look at the fence on the hole. These fences will never be able to restore to before it. You angry when Say these words like nails, like a scar left. If you take a knife and stabbed someone else knife, no matter how many times do you say I am.
釘子
有一個壞脾氣的男孩，他父親給了他一袋釘子。並且告訴他，每當他發脾氣的時候就釘一個釘子在後院的圍欄上。第一天，這個男孩釘下了37根釘子。慢慢地，每天釘下的釘子數量減少了，他發現控制自己的脾氣要比釘下那些釘子容易。於是，有一天，這個男孩再也不會失去耐性，亂發脾氣。他告訴父親這件事情。父親又說，現在開始每當他能控制自己脾氣的時候，就拔出一根釘子。一天天過去了，最後男孩告訴他的父親，他終於把所有釘子給拔出來了。
父親握著他的手，來到後院說：「你做得很好，我的好孩子，但是看看那些圍欄上的洞。這些圍欄將永遠不能恢復到從前的樣子。你生氣的時候說的話就像這些釘子一樣留下疤痕。如果你拿刀子捅別人一刀，不管你說了多少次對不起，那個傷口將永遠存在。話語的傷痛就像真實的傷痛一樣令人無法承受。」
人與人之間常常因為一些無法釋懷的僵持，而造成永遠的傷害。如果我們都能從自己做起，開始寬容地看待他人，相信你一定能收到許多意想不到的結果。為別人開啟一扇窗，也就是讓自己看到更完整的天空。
6. 求一篇 有趣的英語短文 200 字左右
A Girl Just Like Mother
No matter which girl he brought home， the young man found disapproval from his mother． A friend gave him advice．
「Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her．
So the young man searched and searched， and finally found the girl．He told his friendly adviser：
「Just like you said， I found a girl who looked，talked，dressed， and even cooked like mother．And just as you said，mother liked her」
「So，」asked the friend，「what happened？」
「Nothing，」said the young man．「My father hates her！」
和母親一樣的女孩
無論帶哪一個女孩回家，這位青年人總會遭到母親的反對。一位朋友勸他說：
「找一個和你母親一樣的女孩——那她一定會喜歡她。」
於是這位青年人不停地找啊找，終於找到了這么個女孩。
他對他友好的忠告者說：
「正像你說的那樣，我找到一個長相、談吐、穿著打扮，甚至連烹飪都和我母親一樣的女孩。也正像你說的那樣，我母親喜歡她。」
「那後來呢？」朋友問。
「沒什麼，」青年人說。「我父親討厭她！」
A Useful Lesson
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar．
Mr． Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son，Tom，because he was too young． Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday， Mr．Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time．They drank for half an hour， and then Mr．Thompson said to his son，「Now， Tom，I want to teach you a useful lesson．You must always be careful not to drink too much． And how do you know when you've had enough？ Well， I'll tell you．Do you see those two lights at the end of the bar？ When they seem to have become four，you've had enough and should go home．」
「But， Dad，」 said Tom，「I can only see one light at the end of the bar．」
有益的教訓
在英國，十八歲以下的人不準進酒吧喝酒。
湯普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一個酒吧喝酒，但他從來不帶他的兒子湯姆去，因為他年紀太小。後來，當湯姆年滿十八歲的時候，湯普森先生第一次帶他去他常去的那家酒吧。他們喝了半個小時，而後，湯普森先生對他兒子說：「湯姆，現在我要告訴你一個有益的教訓。你必須時時小心不要喝得太多。你怎麼知道你喝夠了呢？好，我來告訴你。你看見酒吧那頭有兩盞燈嗎？當那兩盞燈看起來變成四盞的時候，你就喝夠了，應該回家了。
「可是，爸爸。」湯姆說：「在酒吧那頭我只能看見一盞燈。」
I work for 7up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個好朋友在醫院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第一個男人說:"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經理."過了一會兒,護士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最後,護士跑來對第三個男人說:"恭喜,你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興,但第四個夥伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝並用頭撞牆.他們問他有什麼不對勁,他回答道:"什麼不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
7. 550詞左右的英語有趣小短文
talking
clock
while
proudly
showing
off
his
new
apartment
to
friends,
a
college
student
led
the
way
into
the
den.
"what
is
the
big
brass
gong
and
hammer
for?"
one
of
his
friends
asked.
"that
is
the
talking
clock,"
the
man
replied.
"how's
it
work?"
"watch,"
the
man
said
and
proceeded
to
give
the
gong
an
ear
shattering
pound
with
the
hammer.
suddenly,
someone
screamed
from
the
other
side
of
the
wall,
"knock
it
off,
you
idiot!
it's
two
o'clock
in
the
morning!"
會說話的鍾
一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓,甚是得意。「那個大銅鑼和錘子是干什麼用的?」他的一個朋友問他。「那玩意兒厲害了,那是一個會說話的鍾」,學生回答。「這鍾怎麼工作的」,他的朋友問。「看著,別眨眼了」,那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子,拚命地敲了一下,聲音震耳欲聾。突然,他們聽到隔壁牆那邊有人狂叫,「別敲了,你這白痴!現在是凌晨兩點鍾了!」
8. 有趣的英語短文
I work for 7up"!（ 我可是在七喜公司工作呀）
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個好朋友在醫院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產.護士過來對第一個男人說:"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達雙子隊的經理."過了一會兒,護士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最後,護士跑來對第三個男人說:"恭喜,你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們三個都很高興,但第四個夥伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝並用頭撞牆.他們問他有什麼不對勁,他回答道:"什麼不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
2.
Illinois是美國東部一個州.冬天很冷.Florida在美國南部,一年氣候都比較熱.
A BIG E-mail Mistake 致命郵件`
An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
其實網上搜索下還是挺多的，不知道你想要的是哪種類型呢..
是故事幽默有趣，還是讀起來比較順暢有趣的，用來演講用的？
希望可以幫到你，呵呵..
9. 簡單有趣的英語小短文
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
--------------------翻譯-------------------
在中西部一個大城市的交通法庭里，一位年輕女士被帶到法官面前，她由於開車闖紅燈被開了罰單。女士向法官解釋，她是一名學校老師，請求法官馬上處理她的案子，以便可以趕回去上課。法官眼中閃過一絲狡黠，說道：「你是學校的老師，對嗎？女士，我馬上要實現我畢生的願望了。在那張桌子旁坐下，寫『我開車闖了紅燈』500遍。
這篇很簡單,沒有難的單詞