大学生英语有趣短文
1. 英语趣味小短文（带翻译）
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”
Cat and Mice
Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top.
" What's in your box?" asked the friend.
"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've been dreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catch them."
"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。
I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
我要表现得象位女士
I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
我要表现得象位女士
一天，远东百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是，没过多久，他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。
他竭力忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥动双臂，挤过人群。
“你干嘛？”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗？”
“听着，”他说，“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起，我要表现得象个女士。”
The Broom Seller and the Barber
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.
"Two pence," said the man.
"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."
The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.
"A penny." said the barber.
"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
卖扫帚的人和理发师
一个卖扫帚的人去一家理发店修面.理发师向他买了一把扫帚.当理发师给他修完面后,问了一下扫帚的价钱.
卖扫帚的人说:"两便士"
"不,不"理发师说,"我只出一便士.如果你认为不够的话,可以把扫帚拿回去."
卖扫帚的人取回了扫帚,随后问修面要付多少钱.
卖扫帚的人说:"我只能给你半个便士,如果你认为不够的话,你可以把胡子再替我装上."
Want a Day Off 想请一天假
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, " We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. " I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
一天，史密斯去见他的客户部领导，“老板”，斯密斯说，“我们家明天要大搞清洁，我老婆需要我回去帮忙清洁阁楼和车库，搬搬挪挪什么的。”“斯密斯啊，你也知道，我们现在人手已经不够了”老板说，“明天的假我是没法给你批了”。“多谢老板，” Smith说，“我就知道跟着您干准没错”。
I Lost 我输了
It was at a five o’clock tea． A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness．
“So good of you to come， Mr．Jones，and where is your brother？”
“You see we're very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it．”
“How nice！And so original， too！ And you won？”
“No，” said the young man absently，“I lost．”
五点钟，下午茶的时间，一个年轻人因为迟到向女主人致歉。
“您能来可真好，琼斯先生，您的兄弟在哪儿呢？”
“您知道我们在办公室里有非常忙，我们俩只能来一个，所以就掷币来决定由谁来。”
“太有意思了！还那么有独创性！那您赢了？”
“不，”年轻人心不在焉地说，“我输了。”
我很辛苦才找来的！
2. 有趣的英语小短文精选
阅读作为四项基本技能之一，对高中生英语语言综合能力的培养起到举足轻重的作用，因此高中英语阅读教学在英语语言学习中扮演着重要角色。我精心收集了有趣的英语小短文，供大家欣赏学习!
有趣的英语小短文篇1
Half or Five Tenths?
Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?
Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.
Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.
Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.
半个还是十分之五
老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘?
杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
有趣的英语小短文篇2
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.
维尔和比尔在争吵，谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。
Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who g the hole for it."
维尔说：“你知道太平洋吗?那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”
Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"
比尔不屑地说：“那没什么。你知道死海吗? 那是我爸爸打死的。”
有趣的英语小短文篇3
Improvement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
进步
一位学生对另一位说：“你的 英语 最近学的怎么样?”
“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
有趣的英语小短文篇4
An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman:' How much this stuff?'
'Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap.'
The lady said, 'It is too much, give it to me for fourteen.'
'I did not say seventeen dollars, but seven.'
'It is still too much,' replied the old lady, 'give it to me for five.'
一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。 她问店员：“这东西要多少钱?”
“七美元，太太，这是很便宜的。”
老太太说：“太贵了，十四美元差不多。”
店员忙说：“我没说十七美元，是七美元。”
“还是太贵，”老太太说：“五美元，我就买啦。”
3. 大学英语故事短文欣赏
英语阅读是学生在英语学习过程中最常见的组成部分。学生的阅读程度直接关系到学生英语能力的提高。我整理了大学英语故事短文，欢迎阅读!
大学英语故事短文篇一
正面的偶像 The Positive Idol
With the development of Internet, people can get the instant news and many people keep their eyes on the hot news, which makes other people get famous easily. As the saying that good news will not be spread while the bad news will, people get famous by presenting the immoral acts and the audience promotes it. We need the positive idols.
随着互联网的发展,人们可以获得即时新闻和很多人随时在关注着热点新闻,这让别人很容易出名。俗话说好事不出门坏事传千里,一些人通过呈现不道德行为来获得知名度,观众也促使了这样的事情发生。我们需要正面的偶像。
Looking back on the hot figures these years, we can find that Internet provides people a large stage to get fame, there is no doubt that the fastest way to catch people’s attention is to attact others by rude words. The audience really loves to see it, they enjoy seeing people acting impolitely. People ignore appreciating the truth and beauty, they are the supporters of vulgar culture.
回首这些年来炙手可热的名人,我们可以发现,互联网为人们提供一个大舞台来获得名声,毫无疑问,最快抓住人们的注意力的方式就是用粗鲁的言语去攻击别人。观众非常喜欢看到这样的情况,他们喜欢看到人们粗鲁的行为。人们忽视了欣赏美和真理,他们是低俗文化的支持者。
As our society is in the stage of transition, the new value has not been formed, so people are lost in it. They chase after the vulgar culture just to show the unsatisfaction of the society. Chasing idol is everybody’s right, but a idol should stand for the postive sides, or there is meaningless to do it.
由于我们社会处于过渡阶段,尚未形成新的价值观,所以人们自我迷失。他们追逐低俗文化来表现出对社会的不满。追逐偶像是每个人的权利,但是一个偶像应代表积极的方面,不然追星没有意义。
大学英语故事短文篇二
终身学习 Life-long Learning
Chairman Mao once said one is never too old to learn, his words have inspired so many people to study all the time. Life-long learning is very necessary today, many teachers have kept studying for they need to refresh their knowledge. For me, I also like to keep life-long learning, the reasons are in the following.
毛主席曾经说过活到老，学到老，他的这些话鼓励了很多人坚持学习。终身学习在今天是很必要的，很多教师就坚持学习，因为他们需要更新知识。对于我来说，我也喜欢保持终身学习，理由如下。
On the one hand, the society develops so fast, I don’t want to be kicked out, so I need to keep studying and make myself keep pace with the time. Like the old people, they don’t know how to use computer, some of them learn the computer and some refuse to learn. The result is that the one who doesn’t use computer can’t keep pace with the time.
一方面，社会发展很快，我不想要被淘汰，因此我需要保持学习，让自己与时俱进。比如老人家，他们不知道如何使用电脑，一些老人家学会了电脑，一些拒绝去学。结果就是不用电脑的人无法与时俱进。
On the other hand, life-long learning helps me have the passion on life. I am always curious about the new things, so I will want to know them more. If I stop learning, I will stop thinking and feel myself like waiting to die, how terrible it is.
另一方面，终身学习能让我对生活有激情。我总是对新事物充满好奇，所以我想要了解更多。如果我停止学习，就会停下来思考，感觉自己就像在等死，多么可怕啊。
Life-long learning is necessary for everyone, it is the only way to make us keep pace with the time.
终身学习对每个人来说都是必须得，这也是让我们保持与时俱进的唯一方法。
大学英语故事短文篇三
维多利亚的成功人生 Victoria’s Successful Life
Everybody knows David Beckham who is a famous football player and his wife is also well famous. Victoria Beckham was from a sing team called Spice Girls, she dropped out of the team many years ago and focused on her fashion career. She not only has a happy family, but also owns the successful career.
大家都知道贝克汉姆，一个著名的足球运动员，他的妻子也很有名。维多利亚贝克汉姆来自一个叫“辣妹”的歌唱组合，她很多年前就退出了组合，专注于她的时尚事业。她不仅拥有一个幸福的家庭，也拥有成功的事业。
Victoria has a big family. She has three boys and a girl. The three boys are as handsome as his father and the daughter is as beautiful as her. The big family catches the media’s attention, every time they go out for the activity, the media will shot many photos. Their news makes the world crazy about them.
维多利亚有一个大的家庭。她有三个儿子和一个女儿。三个男孩如他们父亲般英俊，女孩如她般美丽。这个大家庭吸引了媒体的注意，每当他们外出活动，媒体就会拍很多照片。有关他们的新闻让世界为之疯狂。
Victoria also makes her fashion career so successful. Before she went to the fashion circle, no one would think about how she was good at it. She sets up her fashion branch and the celebrities like her design. Now her branch is welcomed by the world, she has proven herself.
维多利亚经营着成功的时尚事业。在她进入时尚圈之前，没有人会想到她是如此的擅长。她建立了自己的时尚品牌，名人们也喜欢她的设计。如今她的品牌受到了全世界的欢迎，她已经证明了自己。
As a mother and official lady, Victoria manages the family and the career so well. She sets the good example for the women.
作为一名母亲和职业女性，维多利亚把家庭和事业都经营得很好。她为女性做出了好榜样。
4. 有趣的英语短文有翻译
阅读帮助人们更多的了解世界。在英语学习中,阅读是人们获取英语知识、提高英语水平的有效途径。我精心收集了有趣的英语短文有翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
有趣的英语短文有翻译篇1
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
两个苏格兰修女刚刚坐船来到美国，其中一个修女对另外一个说，“我听说这个国家的人们是吃狗肉的。”
"Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
“真奇怪”，她的同伴回答道，“不过如果我们也生活在美国，我们可能会做一样的事情啊。”
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it.
这位年长修女认真地点了点头，指向了一个热狗摊，她们俩一同走了过去。
"Two dogs, please," said one.
“两只狗，谢谢。”一位说。
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs.'
摊贩主很开心，他把两个热狗都包了起来。两位修女飞快地到一个长凳上坐下，打开了她们的“狗”。
The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
年长的修女先打开了她的，然后，仔细地凝视了一会，向另外一位修女靠了过去，小心地耳语道“你拿到哪个部分了?”
有趣的英语短文有翻译篇2
A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.
一个人带着他的狗去了酒吧，他径直走向吧台，要了一杯酒。
The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."
招待说：“你不能带狗进来!”这个人毫不犹豫地说，“这是我的导盲犬”
"Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
“天呐，”招待说，“抱歉了，第一杯算我的。”这个人喝了他的酒，去门边的桌子那坐下了。
Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog."
另外一个人带着一只吉娃娃走进酒吧。第一个人看见了他，把他拦下，说“你不能把狗带进来，除非你跟他们说这是一只导盲犬。”
The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
第二个人谢过了第一个人，走向吧台。他要一杯饮料。招待说：“嗨，你不能把那只狗带进来!”
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."
第二个人回答道“这是我的导盲犬。”招待说，“不，我不这么认为。从来没有吉娃娃做导盲犬的。”
The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
这个人停顿了一会，回答道“什么?!他们给了我一只吉娃娃?!”
有趣的英语短文有翻译篇3
A blond decides to go ice fishing one day. She takes her stool and her fishing pole onto the ice, and cuts a big hole. Then a voice says:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
一个金发外国人决定要去冰上钓鱼。她拿上她的工具和钓鱼竿去了冰上，并凿出了一个大洞。然后听见一个声音说：
"冰～下～面～没～有～鱼!"
Perplexed, the blond moves her stool 100 feet, sits down again and goes to work cutting another hole. Again, the voice said:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
这个外国人很疑惑，把她的工具挪动了100尺，再次坐下来，准备再凿一个洞的时候。再一次地，有个声音说：
"冰～下～面～没～有～鱼!"
Clearly flustered, she moves the stool to one last spot, sits down, and picks up her auger. Again, the voice boomed:
"FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
姑娘有点慌了，她将工具挪到最后这个点上，坐下来，拿起了她的螺丝钻。再一次地，声音响起：
“最～后～说～一～次!冰～下～面～没～有～鱼!”
Finally, she can't take it. She cries out, "God, is that you?"
她终于承受不住了，叫了出来，“是你吗?神?”
"NO, I'M THE OWNER OF THIS HOCKEY RINK"
“不，我是这个曲棍球冰场的主人。”
5. 急需一篇英文短篇故事 要有意思 有内涵 大学生用的。不要太幼稚 阅读时间7分钟左右
你好！我这里有很棒的一篇短文，富有哲理。
Nails
Has a bad temper of the boy, his father gave him a bag of nails. And told him that whenever he lost his temper when a nail on the nail in the backyard on the fence. The first day, the boy has nailed 37 nails. Slowly, under the nail every day to rece the quantity of nails, he found that control of their temper than those under the nail nails easy. Thus, there is one day, the boy never lost patience, temper chaos. His father told him the matter. The father said, and now whenever he can begin to control their own temper when a nail on the pull-out. One day later, the last boy's father told him, he finally put all the nails to pull out come.
His father shook his hand, came to the backyard, said: "You're doing a good job and my child, but look at the fence on the hole. These fences will never be able to restore to before it. You angry when Say these words like nails, like a scar left. If you take a knife and stabbed someone else knife, no matter how many times do you say I am.
钉子
有一个坏脾气的男孩，他父亲给了他一袋钉子。并且告诉他，每当他发脾气的时候就钉一个钉子在后院的围栏上。第一天，这个男孩钉下了37根钉子。慢慢地，每天钉下的钉子数量减少了，他发现控制自己的脾气要比钉下那些钉子容易。于是，有一天，这个男孩再也不会失去耐性，乱发脾气。他告诉父亲这件事情。父亲又说，现在开始每当他能控制自己脾气的时候，就拔出一根钉子。一天天过去了，最后男孩告诉他的父亲，他终于把所有钉子给拔出来了。
父亲握着他的手，来到后院说：“你做得很好，我的好孩子，但是看看那些围栏上的洞。这些围栏将永远不能恢复到从前的样子。你生气的时候说的话就像这些钉子一样留下疤痕。如果你拿刀子捅别人一刀，不管你说了多少次对不起，那个伤口将永远存在。话语的伤痛就像真实的伤痛一样令人无法承受。”
人与人之间常常因为一些无法释怀的僵持，而造成永远的伤害。如果我们都能从自己做起，开始宽容地看待他人，相信你一定能收到许多意想不到的结果。为别人开启一扇窗，也就是让自己看到更完整的天空。
6. 求一篇 有趣的英语短文 200 字左右
A Girl Just Like Mother
No matter which girl he brought home， the young man found disapproval from his mother． A friend gave him advice．
“Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her．
So the young man searched and searched， and finally found the girl．He told his friendly adviser：
“Just like you said， I found a girl who looked，talked，dressed， and even cooked like mother．And just as you said，mother liked her”
“So，”asked the friend，“what happened？”
“Nothing，”said the young man．“My father hates her！”
和母亲一样的女孩
无论带哪一个女孩回家，这位青年人总会遭到母亲的反对。一位朋友劝他说：
“找一个和你母亲一样的女孩——那她一定会喜欢她。”
于是这位青年人不停地找啊找，终于找到了这么个女孩。
他对他友好的忠告者说：
“正像你说的那样，我找到一个长相、谈吐、穿着打扮，甚至连烹饪都和我母亲一样的女孩。也正像你说的那样，我母亲喜欢她。”
“那后来呢？”朋友问。
“没什么，”青年人说。“我父亲讨厌她！”
A Useful Lesson
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar．
Mr． Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son，Tom，because he was too young． Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday， Mr．Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time．They drank for half an hour， and then Mr．Thompson said to his son，“Now， Tom，I want to teach you a useful lesson．You must always be careful not to drink too much． And how do you know when you've had enough？ Well， I'll tell you．Do you see those two lights at the end of the bar？ When they seem to have become four，you've had enough and should go home．”
“But， Dad，” said Tom，“I can only see one light at the end of the bar．”
有益的教训
在英国，十八岁以下的人不准进酒吧喝酒。
汤普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一个酒吧喝酒，但他从来不带他的儿子汤姆去，因为他年纪太小。后来，当汤姆年满十八岁的时候，汤普森先生第一次带他去他常去的那家酒吧。他们喝了半个小时，而后，汤普森先生对他儿子说：“汤姆，现在我要告诉你一个有益的教训。你必须时时小心不要喝得太多。你怎么知道你喝够了呢？好，我来告诉你。你看见酒吧那头有两盏灯吗？当那两盏灯看起来变成四盏的时候，你就喝够了，应该回家了。
“可是，爸爸。”汤姆说：“在酒吧那头我只能看见一盏灯。”
I work for 7up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
7. 550词左右的英语有趣小短文
talking
clock
while
proudly
showing
off
his
new
apartment
to
friends,
a
college
student
led
the
way
into
the
den.
"what
is
the
big
brass
gong
and
hammer
for?"
one
of
his
friends
asked.
"that
is
the
talking
clock,"
the
man
replied.
"how's
it
work?"
"watch,"
the
man
said
and
proceeded
to
give
the
gong
an
ear
shattering
pound
with
the
hammer.
suddenly,
someone
screamed
from
the
other
side
of
the
wall,
"knock
it
off,
you
idiot!
it's
two
o'clock
in
the
morning!"
会说话的钟
一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓,甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了,那是一个会说话的钟”,学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”,他的朋友问。“看着,别眨眼了”,那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子,拼命地敲了一下,声音震耳欲聋。突然,他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫,“别敲了,你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!”
8. 有趣的英语短文
I work for 7up"!（ 我可是在七喜公司工作呀）
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
2.
Illinois是美国东部一个州.冬天很冷.Florida在美国南部,一年气候都比较热.
A BIG E-mail Mistake 致命邮件`
An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
其实网上搜索下还是挺多的，不知道你想要的是哪种类型呢..
是故事幽默有趣，还是读起来比较顺畅有趣的，用来演讲用的？
希望可以帮到你，呵呵..
9. 简单有趣的英语小短文
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
--------------------翻译-------------------
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。
这篇很简单,没有难的单词